I write speculative fiction! That's what I do, Mr. Ant. So how do I NOT drink or smoke then? Well, I make my story characters do it, of course! Hmm...maybe I should make them eat tasty fattening food too. Vicarious living, my friends 'n fiends. Vicarious living. :)
p.s. My shoes are pure evil. I know. I've had them tested.
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